


Post Abortion Syndrome

by mikeyskies, PumpkinBird



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Frerard, Implied Mpreg, M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-22
Updated: 2015-12-22
Packaged: 2018-05-08 08:27:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5490467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikeyskies/pseuds/mikeyskies, https://archiveofourown.org/users/PumpkinBird/pseuds/PumpkinBird
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Somethings we wish, others we can. But what's done is done. Frank is not okay.</p><p> </p><p>This was written by PumpkinBird. MikeySkies is just editing it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Post Abortion Syndrome

**Author's Note:**

> This was written by the lovely PumpkinBird. I'm just fixing the few grammatical errors that happened when this fic was being translated from Spanish. -Mikeyskies

**Post Abortion Syndrome**

Frank was observed himself in the mirror for like two hours.

The guys in the band were worried about him. Three weeks pass going back and forth as if his head stays in elsewhere; most of the time they have to shout to make he come out of the bathroom and allow them to relieve themselves. Often they found him staring at nothing or with a smile, or no specific gesture. In those 3 weeks, or he would eat too much or he eat too little; sometimes Mikey would watch him running to the bathroom as if he went to throw up, but not expelling anything. Gerard is also included in these pairs of worried eyes, but no one could talk to Frank because he answered them with illogical things.

There he is again standing in front of that grin in the crystal that is looking at him. Why he can't feel his stomach bulge? With his hands tenderly touch the surface of his flat stomach, and looking very closely for any signs of roundness or life growing inside of him.

His fingers applied a little force looking for something hard in his belly, but nothing.

Frank raises his eyebrows but he doesn't stop; he is two months already, why he can’t feel kicks? “Of course, you idiot, it is too small yet for you to feel it.”

Smiling tenderly while he still touching his belly, where a small worm grows and forms.

He is imagining that it will be a boy, but a girl not amiss, and he running his own hands hugging his arms, with an immense happiness that makes him want to spend those seven months in 7 blinks.

But no, he wants to enjoy those missing seven months pass like an eternity! He wants to feel with plenty of time his baby growing up, with his little feet kicking to let him know that he is in there. Hopes that the dizziness and sickness lasting a little longer, because despite the disgusting and terrible it feels to have their food and gastric juices in a mess up by the throat, he loves it. He also wishes to fast forward to the day when his baby is large enough to know his or her gender. Although he would also like it to be a surprise!

He would love to have a girl to dress her with floral dresses every day, to do her hair in braids like Rapunzel, or paint her hair with red sprays in her birthday, so she would be Ariel! She would also like to invite him to drink tea with chocolate cakes flavored mud, or in spring want to dress her with a white dress like a little flower. Lily, Lily like Lilies. Frank likes lilies.

He also dreams about a boy! Disguise him with Fireman suit and in Christmas like a gift. He could be an elf and Gerard, Santa Claus! He would name his baby Gerard! His little Gerard… His smile was erased when he remembered Gerard. How will he say it to him? He can not come and say, “Hey Gee, guess what, remember my birthday when you forgot the condom? Well look, for like 7 months I can't get pregnant because I already am! Did I mention that we are going to be parents?”

No!

He can't tell him like that, because Gerard would faint! Or die! Or would most likely do the first one and then both! So he would have to find another way to tell him.

He puts his pajama pants above his belly, being careful to don't hurts his little baby, and he go down to take his breakfast.

Mikey and Ray stop their talking to see the smiling dwarf who is not without his smile even if a meteor falls and crushes it all (of course, provided it do not hurt him or his baby) that seems to fly by clouds or dance like if the counter and kitchen floor were the best dance floor. He served orange juice, and took 4 toast rolls out of the bag.

-Hey Frank, how are you? -Asks Bob, taking the milk bottle and going to sit next to the other two; Frank greets everyone with his hand, while a piece of bread is all in his happy mouth.

\- Oh, great. -Answered with crumbs in his mouth, barely understandable, while some crumbs slips off his lips. Leave the bread in a bowl and begins to spread peanut butter, while he salivate. The boys smile, satisfied with the answer. Frank turns to them with a raised eyebrow and peanuts in the corner of his mouth.

-Have I gained weight?

Mikey spits the juice he was about to swallow, and it falls on freshly made pancakes of Bob, and Ray starts cleaning his lap.

-what the hell, Mikey!

-It was an accident!

-It took me all the fucking morning to bake this!

-They are only for reheat, Bob!

-But I paid it with my own money and now they has your slobber!

Frank blushed. Apparently he ruined their breakfast. Fortunately a pair of arms surrounds him around his waist and clings his body from behind, gently. Frank blushes and turns around to hide his face in the neck of Gerard, who laugh directly in his left ear.

-Good morning, Frankie ... -he purrs softly.

Frank laughs and feels a tingling in the belly, as if his baby is also laughing.

-Hi Gee.

Gerard kisses him, then leaves to start and prepare their breakfast.

\- Good morning -Said Ray to Gerard. He walks to the refrigerator for the package of pancakes and puts it 20 seconds in the microwave, and gives a reproachful look at Frank who is embarrassed.

\- Why the fuss? - Gerard asks, resting in the counter, nibbling a piece of bread and drinking his coffee.

Ray gives the plate of pancakes to Bob who is still glaring at Mikey, Ray regaining his place as a mediator between them two.

\- Frank aroused with the idea that he ate a whale.

Frank blushes and his hand going instinctively to be placed where his baby should be, and laughs with the comparison.

-Is not that...

-But Frankie, we haven't had breakfast yet ... - Gerard approached him with that look of desire that makes Mikey say low an "ew", and rubs Frank's back with his pelvis.

-Hey! Go and make your exhibits away! -Shouts again the savior of everyone, Ray.

-in fact, if there was no one, this wouldn't be an exhib-Ou! -Shouted Bob when Mikey stretches and gives him with his fork in the hand- .Hey!

Gerard smiles and kisses his neck before releasing Frank again.

-Now seriously, how do you have eaten a whale? -Ask his boyfriend, funny.

The boy's cheeks turn red and feel a tingle in his belly, thinking it's his baby who laughs with him.

-Well... I just wondered if I was fat...

Gerard 's smile is erased and replaced by a grimace for a second that hurts like hell in the Frank's soul, but soon is replaced by other emotions. Gerard purses his lips just as his brows pucker.

-You’re not fat, Frank.

\- I was just ...

\- Is that true? so it is what is all about? - everything goes quiet and the younger man does not understand what Gerard means  
. -you think you're fat, that's why you lock in the bathroom to throw up or sometimes you dont eat, right? - Gerard accuses, his fists clenched and eyes bathed in black, while Mikey and Bob lowers their heads and pretends to eat his cold pancakes.

-Wait, what?

-Take off that shit from your head, Frankie. –Laughs an angry and mad Gerard- Because otherwise I'll take you with a fucking shrink.

Frank's eyes are filled with tears. Is he serious? Is he saying that Frank and the baby are bulimic? Anorexic?

Frank closes fists and glares at the father of his child before going out of the kitchen. Gerard looks at him and then his face goes where Ray who looks at him shaking his head, and his brother sighs. In the end all these ideas were shared by all of them.

Frank comes back and look at everyone with those looks that kills, and take ice cream and crackers with cheese from the refrigerator, and going out again carrying it all and slamming the refrigerator door behind him.

Then he goes upstairs and locks himself in the room he shared with Mikey (Before changing with Bob so he could sleep with Gerard) and sheds himself in the bed of the blonde full of masculine scent.

Tears run down his cheeks and thinks pregnancy should be putting him sensible. He hugs a pillow and let the sadness go along with his tears. He knows it's not their fault to think about it, because well, he has not told them about what is really going on yet, so this misunderstanding is his fault, but that doesn't stop it hurts or at least dilute the pain.

Why he can’t tell them he’s pregnant? So much fear has to not do it? He knows Mikey and Bob will be the happiest guys in world, and Ray will care too much about him and accept to stay up watching movies like The Lion King or Just My Luck with him when he can’t sleep because of his enormous belly. And Gerard, well, leaving aside the evil imagination of Frank who tells him he can pass out and die, Gerard would be really cuddly and he'll take good care of him because everyone knows how much Gee loves him.

So...?

He sits on the bed and unwraps a cracker cheese that is brought to his mouth without much thought, as his gaze going to the look at him from the mirror. And then is when his face changes and memories slap him mockingly

He’s not gonna have a baby.

Why he is still thinking about it? Was it not he who decided to take it out? Was not he who cried out that they had to rip out the little worm of his womb? That was three weeks ago. Why is he still counting?

He is not pregnant, there’s no baby inside him. There is not a small Lily or a small Gerard forming to soon kick him and say “Hey, here I am!” Because there's nothing.

There is also not more sickness, that was left behind from the moment that he knew that there was that little thing inside him.

There wouldn't be visits to the doctor about know the sex of the baby, neither would have costumes because his gift had suddenly disappeared from his womb.

His hands shakes and the cracker slips of it. it seems the mirror mocks him when he gets out of bed, walks to the mirror and his hand is put on his belly. No bump, no kicking, no baby.

Three weeks ago that Frank took it out of there.

And it breaks him, because everything is hitting him in the face, from the first moment he felt nauseas, passing through while Mikey knelt beside him to hold up his hair for him to throwing up, when he went with Ray to the doctor and days later when he asked for the results, an expressionless Frank replied: Nothing, there's nothing; then this clandestine visit to the new clinic, and when them taught him at the monitor a lot of meaningless dots in black, white and blue, which he don't wanted to see . When he was made to lie on the stretcher, and put that mask and they made him count to 10 and did not even get to five, and when he awoke went to asking for a taxi as if nothing had happened.

Now he remembers...

With trembling hands, goes where the pajamas covers his belly, and above it there is the scar that proves that everything he did was true.

That there is no baby, no more...

And runs to the bathroom to throwing up the toast and pieces of bread that minutes before had chewed happy in the kitchen, and throws up all the tears and the pain he feels.

Arms wrap around his waist and pick his hair out from his face.

-Shh, shh... don’t cry, Frankie, please… -Gerard holds him because Frank seems to be broken. -Frankie, everything is ok, I'm here...

And that's when Frank smiles again.

He's right, why wouldn't he be? All is ok because they both are going to have a baby. Why would something be wrong? Next week the baby is three months, and soon he will feel his or her little feets tapping his skin, happily because their two dads loves them and expect them with more love and happiness.

Because denial is better than a lifetime of regret.


End file.
